roses, with thorns

Was just thinking that my blog might be mistaken as portraying a life lived in a garden of fragrant roses, devoid of any thorns. It couldn’t be further from the truth. Living an impoverished life, the youngest of 9, raised by a widowed 30 year old, native Hawaiian, whose only source of income was as a laundress for a Catholic orphanage, was not without physical pain or mental anguish. At our best, we were a dysfunctional family, at our worst, we were individuals trying to survive, until we were old enough to get out of the house. I’m sure our story is replicated the world over. Rather than remain the victim of circumstances, and take my “mountain of pain” to even greater heights, I prefer to dismantle it altogether. At 61 I don’t have decades left in which to experiment, to learn by trial and error. I’ve dabbled sufficiently in life’s “ups and downs,” to know that, going forward, I’d like to live with a positive frame of mind. I don’t wish to allow negativity to take control of my life, the only one I have. What example would I be setting for my daughter, who puts great stock in the examples set by my husband and me? She’s worth more to me than any pain I suffered as a result of the personal baggage I dragged around, like a ball and chain. Better to sever the shackles that bind, and be rid of the accompanying stress forever. I’ve come a long way, but I’m far from done.

still a work in progress…hugmamma.

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8 thoughts on “roses, with thorns

  1. You were never a “thorn.” We were both youngsters struggling to make sense of a world into which we were born. Fortunately we’ve found happiness in our lives with loved ones who have helped nurture us to better health, physically, emotionally, and mentally. While past experiences have helped to carve out who we are, they don’t need to define us going forward.

    At 61, I only remember moments of my childhood. Like you, I’m sure, I’ve been focused on my life as an adult, growing it to where it’s good for me and my family. During the last 45 years, I’ve truly not dwelt upon the past; I’ve been too preoccupied with making the most of what life I’ve left. So no apologies are necessary, for I’ve not been harbouring any resentment toward anyone. I’ve only always wished everyone, what I wish…

    for you and yours, only good things…hugmamma.

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  2. Hopefully one of these days you will find a way to forgive me whatever wrong i may have done in your life. I still think of you and have always looked up to you and still do. And if i have been a thorn to you I am truly sorry. I still love you and appreciated you for helping me get thru the hard times in my early childhood. Your neice

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  3. You bring tears to my eyes, Ben. You always know the right thing to say to shine a little sunlight on a gray, chilly, Pacific Northwest day. Well almost always, except when it’s to applaud a certain Alaskan who’s inciting teetotalers. ha, ha. I know, I know, you’re entitled to your opinion.

    By the way, what do you think about the new colors and photo my blog is currently sporting? Thought I’d give a “shout out” to the men, although I think it’ll appeal to the women as well.

    hugs for the kind words…hugmamma.

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hugs for sharing some brief thoughts...and keeping them positive

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