no more…what if?

My friend Sylvia emailed me the following some time ago. It’s been simmering on the back burner. Other topics clamored to be heard. Now that most of those have gotten “on air” time, I decided now might be the time to share this.

My previous post about Rachel Beckwith, the 9-year-old who died in a devastating accident last week, made Sylvia’s contribution even more relevant. Rachel’s unexpected passing touched the hearts of so many because she was taken too soon, and because she demonstrated that even one so young can make a difference.

But to her parents, her younger sister, extended family and friends, Rachel is no longer present in their ordinary, every day lives. She won’t be sharing smiles with her dad, while eating a simple breakfast of cereal on a Saturday morning. She won’t be confiding in her mom about her crush on a boy in school. She won’t be there to hug her sister when she falls while learning to ride a bike. She won’t have the first cookie hot out of grandma’s oven.

What if there isn’t anymore?

One day a woman’s husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn’t “anymore.”

No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more “just one minute.” Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say “good-bye,” say “I love you.”

So while we have it, it’s best we love it, care for it, fix it when it’s broken and heal it when it’s sick.

This is true for marriage…and old cars…and children with bad report cards…and dogs with bad hips…and aging parents…and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it…

Some things we keep…like a best friend who moved away or a sister-in-law after divorce. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.

Life is precious. Keep those who are special…close. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, so let them know you love them…

every chance you get………hugmamma. 

11 thoughts on “no more…what if?

  1. I have this in my mind often… I treasure even regular days, sitting next to my husband and eating, or chatting about something small…
    I love how close I am with and to my family. I’m aware of how important all this is.


  2. I’d written extensively in my diary about this a few years back. How do you know when something will be for the last time? The last time I’d see my grandmother, the last time my cat would be healthy (day before bad news), the last time for something in my garden? Losses are big and small, but they take it out of us after a while.

    I have to remind myself to let out my inner beagle and live in the present moment. He enjoys his life and doesn’t worry about what happened or what is going to happen. He wants the pat on the head now, the treat now (well, all the time actually), the snooze by my feet now. He lives here now.

    And I believe it was Thoreau who said we couldn’t kill time without damaging eternity.



  3. Beautiful post. I just heard about Rachel several minutes ago. I don’t watch much TV. Incredibly sad. As I come very close to 60 I cherish every day and I appreciate every little thing in my life. I don’t know where I would be if Country Husband wasn’t here. I can’t even go there. Thank you for this post Hugmamma.


    • I feel exactly as you do. I don’t dwell on thoughts of my husband not being here. But it is on my mind…albeit on the back burner. That keeps me in check, so that I remember, always, what’s important in life. And it’s not stuff, that’s for sure.

      hugs for the comment. 😉


hugs for sharing some brief thoughts...and keeping them positive

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s