daily post challenge #222: do i prefer to lead or follow?

Female Mallard with ducklings

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What I’ve noticed in four decades of marriage is that I’ve become the social leader in our family. Those of you who are married, don’t you find that’s true in your families as well? It seems to evolve naturally over time, that wife and mom becomes “it” in deciding when to do what, with whom, how, why, when and where.

Empowered

We’re probably partly to blame because anything hubby suggests might be rebuffed. Been there; done that. Not at the beginning, mind you. I was very acquiescent. Aren’t we all when in the throes of budding romance? But as relationships evolve, women feel more empowered to make suggestions. Batting our eyelashes, we get our way. That’s when men relinquish all say-so in their social lives, like it or not. And we, the fairer sex, win the title of “Social Leader for Life!” Yeayyy…us!!! But wait a minute. Should we be celebrating? I’m not so sure.

For the rest of our relationship with that special someone, which could amount to decades, we women are charged with making all decisions pertaining to where to go, what to do, what to eat, how many days to vacation, where do we board the pets, who’ll mind the kids, what clothes to pack, who should we invite, where do we spend the holidays, what kinds of gifts to buy and for whom, with whom do we socialize, with whom should the kids socialize, keeping in touch with family and friends, making new friends, what to serve at parties, planning parties, grocery shopping and cooking for get-to-gethers and cleaning up afterwards…and on, and on,and on. The list is as endless as we want to make it. Yeayyy…us!

If I had it to do all over again? I’d shut my mouth and let my wonderful hubby have at it………hugmamma.

……..what about you?……..and you lucky, lucky men……..any opinions?  😉

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4 thoughts on “daily post challenge #222: do i prefer to lead or follow?

  1. For me, I always get a, “where do you want to go?” Then when I make my suggestion they always say no. Then I get asked again, “where do you want to go?” It’s like a broken record! Makes be crazy.

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    • Now…are you a guy or a gal? Makes a difference. Either way…I empathize. And are you of the younger…or older generation? Makes a difference there too. At my age…62…I’m inclined to finally relinquish the reigns.

      i’m game for new adventures…especially when i no longer have to decide…yeayyy!!! 🙂

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  2. You fell for the oldest trick in the book. 😆

    Men often feign helplessness (“Honey, do we have any pots and pans?”) in order NOT to be asked to assist in the domestic arena.

    BFF and I share the responsibility of social coordinator and have for years. He does his own packing (and unpacking) for trips, and assumes responsibility for cards and gifts for “his side” of the family.

    We check with each other BEFORE committing to social activities involving us both. We take turns deciding where to go and what to do when we get there.

    It’s an equal partnership that works well for us ~ I think it’s harder when kids are involved. Someone (usually the mom) must take the lead or nothing gets done in the social sphere.

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    • Stupid me! I didn’t fall for it…I jumped in with two feet…happily!!!

      But as you say, when children are involved moms have to make decisions…or else we’re all stuck in the mud doing nothing. Actually I think husbands have their own opinions of what’s fun, which could be pretty repetitive. Moms, on the other hand, try to be creative…all the time. I’m for balancing. Though I’ve not learned that until middle-age when I started running low on energy…and time.

      Now that I’m an empty-nester, I’ve regained my sanity. I let my husband decide where we’ll eat out, what movie we’ll see, whether we’ll go out or stay in. He still does preface everything with “Whatever you decide is fine with me.” But now I press him to decide…which he does.

      and I shut my mouth…and accept his decision…gleefully. 🙂

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hugs for sharing some brief thoughts...and keeping them positive

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