live your own life…not someone else’s…

Water ripples

Image by mcconnell.franklin via Flickr

Simple advice from the man who is touted with changing the world in my lifetime…Steve Jobs. While he may have touched upon my life like the furthest ripple from where a pebble hits the surface of the still waters of a lake, Jobs words are more in sync with who I am, than those of family and friends who think they know me best.

Determining that they have my best interests at heart, siblings have, from time to time, made suggestions as to what I might want to do. That we’ve not seen one another in years doesn’t seem to matter. The old adage that “blood is thicker than water” may have something to do with it. And while that may be true literally, figuratively…I’m not so sure.

In striving to live healthfully I’ve learned that water is essential to my body’s machinery. Supporting me in this assertion is the following from the website USG.

The movement of water around, over, and throug...

Image via Wikipedia

Think of what you need to survive, really just survive. Food? Water? Air? Facebook? Naturally, I’m going to concentrate on water here. Water is of major importance to all living things; in some organisms, up to 90% of their body weight comes from water. Up to 60% of the human body is water, the brain is composed of 70% water, and the lungs are nearly 90% water. Lean muscle tissue contains about 75% water by weight, as is the brain; body fat contains 10% water and bone has 22% water. About 83% of our blood is water, which helps digest our food, transport waste, and control body temperature. Each day humans must replace 2.4 litres of water, some through drinking and the rest taken by the body from the foods eaten. …

There just wouldn’t be any you, me, or Fido the dog without the existence of an ample liquid water supply on Earth. The unique qualities and properties of water are what make it so important and basic to life. The cells in our bodies are full of water. The excellent ability of water to dissolve so many substances allows our cells to use valuable nutrients, minerals, and chemicals in biological processes.

One brother suggested I author a story about a little, Hawaiian girl discovering the world beyond; a sister liked a recipe I’d posted and encouraged me to include more in my blog. I thanked both but felt neither was what I wanted to write about. And now in my 60s, I thought I had a pretty good idea as to who I am and what I want.

Fower and bud of yellow chamomile (Anthemis ti...

Image via Wikipedia

It took me a long time to throw off the mantle of others’ expectations of me. Only when I became a mother, did I realize I didn’t want others meddling, however well-intentioned, in how I parented my only child. I was determined to raise her to be who she wanted to be, knowing that my husband and I would always support her with unconditional love.

Handing over the reigns of control to my daughter hasn’t always been easy. But I reflect on the long and difficult path to finding my own voice, and I’m grateful that my daughter has found hers at 25. She speaks to us almost daily, detailing things she wishes to share. We ask questions, but we don’t prod. We express our opinions, but assure her that she knows best because it’s she who lives her life, not us. We affirm the value of her decisions. And we empathize when things don’t occur as she thought they would.

Even in middle-age I looked to others for guidance. I called them role models, women aging gracefully. I thought for sure they had the secret to peace on earth. But I’ve come to realize that I can’t model myself after anyone. What works for another, probably won’t work for me because we’re different people. We’re the result of different parents, different experiences, different strengths and weaknesses, and different life views.

It’s uncanny how a man I never met, an icon, Steve Jobs, knew what was best for me…and millions of others.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

 Steve Jobs’ life should be a beacon for those who know in their heart what feels right for them. And my daughter is an example of someone who took up that torch…

…living her own life…with our love and blessing………hugmamma. 

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8 thoughts on “live your own life…not someone else’s…

  1. My father once told me much the same thing, but I was far too young and immature to understand the wisdom of his words.

    I have spent a lot of my life seeking approval from others and, like lots of women who are mothers, wives, carers, I also spent a lot of my life putting myself at the end of the long list of people whose needs I thought were greater than mine.

    I came late in life to understand that I do not need approval from anyone. I am free to make my choices right or wrong, to live and enjoy my life my way. The realisation of this fact was so liberating; sometimes decisions are difficult but they are my decisions.

    🙂

    Dee
    http://40again.wordpress.com

    Like

  2. I think women struggle with this much more than men do. The world feels free to tell us how to run out lives and doesn’t like it AT ALL if we don’t follow their advice (let alone not want it).

    It’s hard to stand up over and over again for ourselves, reminding ourselves that just because something is right for someone else doesnt’ mean it’s right for us.

    Nancy
    http://www.dogear6.com

    Like

    • Adding to the dilemma is thinking other’s thoughts and feelings are the standard by which we should measure every aspect of our lives. Adhering to this can, over time, erode one’s sense of self. Replacing the opinion’s of others with one’s own is often difficult. One keeps second-guessing oneself. And when things go wrong, one is quick to revert back.

      an ongoing battle…one from which i’m not 100% in the clear…but i’m a lot closer…than i was… 🙂

      Like

hugs for sharing some brief thoughts...and keeping them positive

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