how can i miss you…if you won’t go away…

One of the humorous sayings gracing a bottle cap in my new header. Funny…yes. But right now…bittersweet. For as I type…my daughter is making her way back east. Yes, I shed a few tears. Not alligator ones…never those. Only heartfelt…wrung from the depths of a mother’s soul.

We were like friends, the two of us. Laughing, teasing, following one another around…the house, the shops…always sharing thoughts, insight, reflections, advice. Yes, advice. My 25 year-old gave me great advice…on more than one occasion. And I gratefully accepted it…more than once.

How did she grow to be so wise? A young woman nearly 40 years my junior, counseling me on cutting myself some slack. That my perception of situations is as valid as anyone’s. Giving me the okay to put myself first, contrary to all the Catholic nuns from Boston instilled in me for 13 years, from kindergarten through high school. I guess my daughter’s public school education trumped mine. Or maybe not.

My Christian values, and my husband’s…especially his, considering he’d been studying to be a priest before we met…have contributed immeasureably to our daughter’s upbringing. No I didn’t lure him away; he quit of his own accord. Thank God…for letting me have him instead…my husband, my best friend.

Family values and personal experiences have substantively impacted my daughter’s maturation. She gives of herself unconditionally, but is learning to fight for her own soul’s preservation. No longer is she succumbing to the demands of others…or of situations over which she has no control. With guidance from many caring mentors, role models, peers and friends, my daughter has evolved…her spirit intact.

I’ll miss her physical presence, for my daughter always did for me before I had to ask…pour my cup of tea…walk and feed Mocha…prop a pillow behind my lumbar for support…offer a hug, several in fact…making decisions which could befuddle…covering my head with the hood of my jacket…holding my elbow, my hand as we crossed the street…

So many gifts…too many to count.
From daughter to mother.
Offered in love…
Without reserve…without conditions…without hesitation.
My cup is never half-empty…
Only always half-full.
When God calls me home…
My life will have wanted for nothing…
Except maybe a few more precious moments…
With what He gifted me…
The loves of my life…
…my beloved husband…and most cherished daughter.

…i truly couldn’t want for more…

………hugmamma. 

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10 thoughts on “how can i miss you…if you won’t go away…

    • Thank you, Roberta. Mothering has been my best career, and I’ve had a few. While teaching my child the ups and downs of life…I’ve learned much in the process. And now…

      …the child is the teacher…the mother, the pupil… 😉 btw…happy 2012!!!

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  1. Aren’t daughters just the best? I feel for you. I love it when my daughter is around. Not that I don’t enjoy my sons, but there is a big difference.

    Thank goodness for modern technology that at least allows us to hear their voices, and if you skype, to see their faces.

    Hugs.

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    • I’ve missed seeing your smiling face, and reading your compassionate words, Christine. You encourage me to put my likeness “out there.” And yet, it’s difficult to let go of my patch of water lillies. They bring me peace…and tranquility. Just picture me as a little tadpole sitting at the edge of a leaf…

      i don’t skype…but my daughter’s image is always foremost in my mind… 😉

      hugging you back…dear friend…hugmamma. 🙂

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  2. Beautifully written. As a mom with 2 grown daughters, I can identify with what you’ve said. I’ve learned a lot from both of them, and, hopefully, they’ve learned a lot from me.
    I also appreciate the info about the ads. Thanks for checking it out and sharing what you’ve learned.

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    • Thank you for your comment. It means a lot when I share something in common with a reader and fellow blogger…especially when it comes to my daughter. And that you compliment my writing is doubly gracious, since I would hesitate to say I’m a writer…only that I write and have a passion for it.

      My blog is about sharing…whatever it is that might help someone. I’m glad you found my post about advertising useful.

      hugs…for finding your way…to me…hugmamma. 🙂

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  3. You love each other dearly, I can feel it in your words. Such a blessing 🙂
    It must be hard to see her go again, dearest Hugmamma, but your bond is so strong it reaches over the miles and miles, connecting you at the heart and soul.
    *hug*
    Marion

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    • You, dear friend, always know what to say to bring a lump to my throat, a tear to my eye…a smile to my lips. Not only do your words ring true for the bond my daughter and I have…

      but for the friendship…you and i share…across thousands of miles…hugmamma. 😉

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hugs for sharing some brief thoughts...and keeping them positive

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