whatever works…who am i to judge

I reiterated to my husband again last night…”Don’t touch that stack of Wall Street Journal papers!” Never mind that it’s taking up space in his home office.

There are gems to be found in that mountain of treasure. Take for instance the article reprinted in my next post, “Letting Babies Cry a Bit is OK” by Andrea Petersen.

Of tremendous interest to “mwaaa”…me, that is, the information contained in Petersen’s writing reminded me of my husband’s least favorite bedtime story.

Our family had recently returned from visiting relatives in Hawaii. Our daughter, then a toddler, had difficulty returning to her routine of sleeping alone in her crib. Bunking with mom and dad while away from home was probably to blame. We had no choice in the matter since space was scarce in my mother-in-law’s already overcrowded home.

I’d read in a book that was my parenting bible at the time, that I shouldn’t remove my child from her crib when she cried, begging to sleep in mine. Rather, I should return to her side in 20-minute intervals to comfort her until she fell asleep. This had worked before our vacation; I was certain it would continue to work again.

My husband was not as convinced. In fact, he was adamant it wouldn’t.

That was one of the very few times I angered my husband.

In utter disgust and disbelief, he stormed off saying he’d rather sleep downstairs if I didn’t give in to our daughter’s pitiful cries. And they were pitiful. Trust me. They were.

However monstrous I might’ve seemed to my loved ones at the time, I knew the long-term result would benefit our child. And it has.

My daughter has confidently traveled the country and Canada since she was 14, pursuing the dance career she now enjoys. She slept in dorms with strangers as roommates. Since she was 18 she has lived on her own, 3,000 miles separating her from us.

She still dreams of living abroad some day.

And as for our relationship?

Our love for one another has grown exponentially over the years!!!

I don’t suggest it’s my way…or the highway. Parents need to do what feels instinctively right in their guts.

…and my instincts suit my guts…just fine…

………hugmamma.

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6 thoughts on “whatever works…who am i to judge

  1. This is to explain why I haven’t written to many of your posts, hugmamma. You can erase it if you want.
    Gone are the days, it seems, when people could have a difference of opinion and agree to disagree. Sometimes, the comments are downright ugly. I applaud you for standing up for what you believe in. But as a former reporter and, now, as a public servant (teacher), I’ve felt that I had to keep my political, religious beliefs to myself.

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    • I understand your reticence to speak your mind. I’ve been reluctant heretofore. But with politics dominating the media it’s difficult for me to hold my tongue when the pundits have all the say.

      The 2008 presidential campaign prompted me to start blogging. So it’s not a stretch to imagine I’d have something to contribute this go-round.

      I honor others’ opinions if expressed respectfully, and without a patronizing or derogatory tone. I don’t profess to own the truth, only the right to speak my own truth…especially from my own platform.

      Shouldn’t you be able to express yourself on your own blog as well? We’re all three-dimensional people with ideas that may or may not conform. Try it…you might take a liking to it.

      i’m with you…you decide…

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      • As a reporter, you are expected to remain objective and impartial. Once you take a side, that can no longer be true. Of course, some accuse reporters of being biased if what the reporter writes or broadcasts does not jibe with what the listener/viewer/reader believes.
        The same is true with teachers.
        While some folks in both of these professions do state their opinions, it is not something I have ever felt comfortable doing.

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  2. Sometimes the action taken for the short run can undermine a good, long-term and satisfying conclusion. It is/was hard, but you did the right thing for the right reason. I’m so happy for you both that you have such a sweet relationship.

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    • Parenting is tricky business. While I have my own druthers about how it’s done, based upon my own childhood experiences, I can’t speak to what others should and shouldn’t do. I can only hope that it’s done with love and patience.

      the path is long and winding…with surprises around every bend…

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hugs for sharing some brief thoughts...and keeping them positive

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