guilty…as judged?

I visited a new blogger friend today, Jennifer at


Judgment! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A post she’d written, 32 Flavors of Judgment, got me thinking about the ease with which we seem to judge ourselves…and others.

Why is that do you suppose?

Might it be that knee-jerk reaction to throw the first punch…at ourselves…or others?

Over coffee with a friend today, we commiserated at feeling the need to explain our actions to others. Especially in light of the fact that we’re both middle-aged mothers of adult children.

Why is it that we dictate to others…or allow others to dictate to us?

Having spent years digging out from under low self-esteem, I’ve never been inclined to tell others what to do. After all, I might be wrong.

In any given situation, however, our reactions can differ. Chalk it up to individual DNA.

When you come right down to it we’re all in the same boat…striving to validate our own existence.

It’s a struggle to command the spotlight…to be heard above the din…to distinguish ourselves from the crowd.

We’d all like to feel good about who we are…what we’ve become…what we’ve done. But surely it needn’t be at anyone’s expense…our own…or someone else’s…

Jennifer’s explanation was thought-provoking…in a wonderfully delicious…Baskin Robbins, banana split sundae sort of way.

32 Flavors Of Judgment…

If I judge myself based on the eyes of society, I fail because there are too many opinions.
If I judge myself based on my own criteria, I still fail because my mind changes moment to moment.
But if I learn to identify and recognize the particularly sour flavor of ‘judgement’ as it arises, I can spit it out and take a sip of water, savoring the complicated colorful glorious mess of perfection that takes judgement’s place. And then maybe I can do something from the heart.

Banana split

Banana split (Photo credit: jumbledpile)

Banana Split

Banana Split (Photo credit: amanky)

Birthplace of the Banana Split

Birthplace of the Banana Split (Photo credit: J. Stephen Conn)

Wouldn’t you rather wallow in confectionery goo up to your eyeballs…than in opinions that don’t really matter in the end?


5 thoughts on “guilty…as judged?

  1. I am trying very hard not to judge people. I grew up in an area where that was all I heard it seemed. I felt very pressured by it and later realized how often I do it. It’s terrible. A lot of time the shoe fits but that doesn’t mean I have to discuss it. Why not pray over the matter instead. Sometimes the things aren’t what they seem so we shouldn’t even go there. We all need to be nicer. Softer and kinder. Unless it involves a burglar. 🙂


    • You are so right. Judging should be left in the courtroom where there’s a good reason for it…crime. Beyond that, judging promotes negativity…which promotes ill will and…ill health. Unfortunately as you indicated, judging seems so much a part of the fibre of who we are as human beings. Like salmon swimming upstream. Nonetheless, just like them we must not give up just because the tide is against us.

      hugs for always leaving thoughtful comments…and my thoughts are with you and your mom…hugmamma.


  2. Not sure where that tendency comes from and it’s part of DNA, I agree. What gives some amazing confidence and others not? I have to always work at not judging myself and others, and at building confidence.


    • Amen to that! I’m inclined to think our personal, life experiences have much to do with our perceptions…of ourselves and others. Not that we should become mired in “baggage” that we’ve accumulated along the way, but that we understand why we react to people and situations as we do…adjust as needed…and move on with renewed, positive energy. I’ve learned not to “beat myself up” anymore, and to think of others as good people…trying to do the best they can…just like me.

      hugs for always leaving “snippets of your story”…hugmamma. 🙂


hugs for sharing some brief thoughts...and keeping them positive

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