there but for the grace of god…

Français : où mène la Licence

Français : où mène la Licence (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Children the world over are often the victims of adult sexual fantasies, beginning with their immediate support group of relatives, friends, and family acquaintances. Whether such unwanted advances are seen through to fruition, i.e. sexual abuse, goes mostly unknown. After all, the fear of being “found out” is something a child instinctively knows will probably bode ill for him or her. Adults are to be believed; children are to be seen…and not heard…according to society’s dictum.

The recent escape of Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus, and Michelle Knight from the evil clutches of a band of brothers in Ohio, reminds us of the hold adults can have over unsuspecting innocents.

How many among us have been propositioned by an adult to have sex? Even if we were clueless about the mechanics of such co-mingling, we had a hunch it wasn’t child’s play. The mere thought of an adult touching his private parts can give a child the creeps, to put it mildly. I think it’s more likely the child would want to…get the hell out of there…AND FAST…even while his feet feel as though they’re cemented in place.

Pairing an overbearing, sex-starved adult with a child whose brain cells are still developing and maturing is like pitting Goliath against David…minus his slingshot. A child can’t even begin to wrap his or her brain around the torrid looks and lurid obscenities directed at him or her. They’re like “deer caught in headlights.”

To say I was such a child is probably commonplace. Perhaps the streak of cynicism I developed while living in NYC had been lying dormant since childhood. My ears and 6th sense have always perked up when men have made suggestions I thought were definitely…queer.

The earlier children learn about the “facts of life,” the better. And I don’t necessarily mean the how-tos of sex and making babies. Although that IS an inescapable reality.

A good friend once told me when our children were toddlers that they wouldn’t absorb any serious information until they were 5. My feeling was, and continues to be, that children learn from the day they are born.

From birth we are like sponges waiting to soak up all that we can in order to make decisions…great and small.

Values…right and wrong…good and bad…moral and immoral…are taught by adults who should know better. Every word…every gesture leaves an indelible mark upon a child’s psyche…for better or worse.

It’s never too early…and it’s never too late…to remove those rose-colored glasses from a child’s eyes.

A little cynicism is like…a 1/4 teaspoon of ground red pepper with the juice of one lemon dissolved in hot water. A daily dose of this elixir keeps my metabolism revved…and overall inflammation under control.

With life-saving information…a child can be on the alert for sexual predators…without even knowing that her radar is set to high alert.

…better safe than sorry…my motto…IMG_4487


4 thoughts on “there but for the grace of god…

  1. Most definitely better safe than sorry!!!!!! My daughter has told me how scared I made her when she was growing up. Maybe I overdid it a little. But anyone would be hard pressed to mess with her now. Her still tiny little self will take on Goliath and give it her all. She is a tough little cookie who won’t take anything from anyone. She would spar with the President if she had too.

    My heart breaks for those girls and the ones still missing. I am so very, very happy that they escaped. If I could have done cartwheels I would have done them in the streets if I could have. I think they should look that house over for that other girl who is lost from the same area.

    I so wish that little Maddy and Natalie Holliway could be found. Also on my mind are a young woman from Charlotte NC and a young boy from the North West who went missing about twenty years ago. I still think about them and pray they could come home.

    And that poor little baby in Kansas! Oh dear God please bring her home safe and sound.


    • I agree that knowledge is the best weapon. It’s not fool-proof, but it’s something. In my opinion, allowing innocent children to venture forth without a clue…is sheer negligence on the part of parents. Better to be over-prepared than not prepared at all.

      You’ve a heart overflowing with compassion, which is no surprise.

      We should all pray for children who continue to go missing. Take care… 🙂


    • I think part of the problem is the cavalier manner in which sex is displayed throughout the media. The proliferation of reality shows where nudity and couples making out probably incites some men to want to act out their fantasies. And for a very long time now, women have been portrayed provocatively in magazines…on TV…and film. Victoria Secrets runway show featuring their so-called angels is one of the worst culprits…where the models flaunt their bodies in the tiniest of underwear and the skimpiest of nighties.

      Thank you for complimenting me on…my great-nieces. Their grandmother, my sister-in-law, is a year younger than me. So I could be their grandma. ha, ha. And I totally understand your concern for the safety of your grandkids. I still worry about my 27-year-old daughter. I think the good ole’ days were a little better, don’t you?


hugs for sharing some brief thoughts...and keeping them positive

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