What can we parents do to keep our children safe from harm? Unfortunately, there’s a limit to how far we can cast our safety net.

I’m certain most of you are as upset as me when another child is kidnapped or worse…killed. And like me you must ponder the possibilities. Why did it happen? Who’s responsible? Where were the parents? Could more have been done to safeguard the child?

And I don’t know about you, but my heart aches for the child, and for his or her family.

What can be done? That’s the $64,000 question. These days it’s more like $64 billion dollars. There’s no pat answer as to how we can safeguard our kids against all the crazies in the world. Wish there were. Don’t you? 

That’s not to say there’s no solution to the problem. Just that there’s no guarantee any one of a million will work…permanently.

While I continue to feel unsettled about my daughter’s safety as she ventures hither and yon, my customized response to keeping her close in my heart is to do what I can to show her how much I love her…while she’s here…on earth.

When I learned, at the ripe old age of 36, that I was pregnant for the first time, and as it turned out…the only time, I was beyond happy. Sixteen years is a long time to wait. That’s how long my husband and I had been married before the blessed event. Adoption seemed our only answer to being parents.

After I’d had time to wrap my brain around the fact that I was having a baby, reality set in.

How would I handle the transition from career woman to stay-at-home mom? I most certainly wasn’t about to turn my precious bundle over to some stranger, while I toiled away in an office for 8 hours and commuted from Connecticut, where I lived, to NYC, where I worked. All told, I wouldn’t have seen my daughter for nearly 12 hours. And I’d probably be no good to her when I was home. The stress of juggling two careers would’ve been too much. 

At the same time I wasn’t about to turn my life inside out with the addition of a new member to our family. No siree. No ma’am. She was going to be an equal partner. Equal shares all the way around. And that’s how my husband and I have viewed our daughter ever since.

…equal partners then…

We never stop to think what’s ours is ours. Our home will always be our daughter’s, and to the extent we are able we will always help support her financially. There’s no question we will always love and support her unconditionally. She never has to earn what we are blest to be able to give, having ourselves been given the greatest gift…her.

Obviously, placing our child in a plastic bubble is not an option. We do what we can to encourage her to be safe. Beyond that…her life is in her own hands, as it should be. 

Parents can’t, and shouldn’t, live their children’s lives. Truthfully, I wouldn’t have the energy. One life is more than enough for me to try and figure out. I don’t have all the answers to my own questions…let alone try to make sense of the ones that face my daughter. 

What we can do is love our children with all our might.

As far as I’m concerned, there is no greater joy than to die knowing I have done everything humanly possible, to make my daughter’s life everything God intended when he chose me to be her mom.

We needn’t fret over what might have been…so much better to be thankful for…

…what is…

…equal partners still…

………hugmamma.