A visit to The Lady in the House at http://ladyinthehouse.net had me thinking about…nurturing thursdays.
In a piece entitled The Brilliance Behind Passive Agression, the writer expounds at length on the relationship between….in her imagery…the spider and the fly. The fly who is unwittingly caught in the web spun by the insidious spider.
Have you ever suffered the fate of the fly? Or have you been the one who masterfully lured it into your spidery world?
Neither image solicits a willingness to admit to being one or the other, or worse…both. Who wants to be seen as a dolt unable of detecting a death trap? And what woman would be the first to admit that she is a conniving arachnid?
It may be that The Lady in the House finds herself in just such a predicament. Having been an unsuspecting fly myself…more than once,…I can detect another victim in the offing.
In other words, a passive-aggressive person cleverly adopts a laid-back stance so as to draw the unsuspecting object of her attention ever closer.
It may be that the spider, or the passive-aggressor, would defend her actions as a natural instinct to take a lesser creature…the fly…into her lair…for safekeeping. You know, sort of as a protector. There’s an assumption here that the fly needs protecting. Perhaps from herself.
I’ve fallen prey to folks who have seemingly had my best interests at heart…or so it seemed at first. I did notice the eye-rolling and the exasperated sighs and the words tinged with sarcasm, but I chalked them up to my imagination. After all, I was trying not to “take it personally.”
Fully invested, like the fly glued to the web, I became aware of more “red flags.” Until finally a zinger let loose, like “I care about you…BUT…”
When a so-called loved one tells you on one hand that they approve of you, BUT on the other hand you could use some improvement…RUN FOR THE HILLS…spider web or not. You’ll never, ever measure up. There’ll always be a teensy-weensy something that needs adjusting to bring you up to their standards.
And before you realize it, there goes your self-esteem…out the window!
Whether you learn to stand your ground or take your leave when it comes to folks who are passive agressive, just break the ties that bind…
…and push back!…push back hard!!!…