Tricky business…giving advice. It’s like walking a tightrope. One misstep and you fall into the abyss, never to be heard from again.
I never give advice, even when asked. I can inform as to what I would do, or have done. However I’ve never felt qualified to tell someone else how to live their life. Being the youngest of 9, I’ve never come from a place of authority.
Whether or not my inability to give advice is the reason I don’t take advice well, especially unsolicited advice, I can’t say for sure.
What I can say is that my life has been a testament to the fact that like a hornet’s nest, when someone tries poking around in my business attempting to straighten me out…I can sting with the best of ’em.
Just as I don’t tell others what to do or how to live, I don’t go on the offensive right away. I try to deflect the “holier than thou” attitude…by not saying anything, or by charming the pants off the one giving advice…tongue-in-cheek, of course. Only when I’m backed into a corner will I lash out…like an animal fighting to escape,
I’m never proud of what I say or do in the heat of the moment. And yet I’m also totally clueless as to why someone would go so far as to badger me. Unless it’s to hear me say “You’re right; I’m wrong.” And not that I’m never wrong, it’s just I prefer to think we’re all entitled to our own opinions.
Someone once said she felt an aggressive person knowingly terrorizes a weaker person. There’s some truth in that.
The strong act; the less strong react. Perhaps that’s the way of all species.
Of course most of us fall somewhere in the middle. We can be strong when the need arises. We’re not always wearing our armor prepared to do battle. In fact it takes me awhile to assemble mine. There’s always the to-ing and fro-ing. Should I? Shouldn’t I? Should I? Shouldn’t I?
The upside for me in penning Journeying towards her best life with Pat is that I get to chat with her about other things, including issues with which I might be dealing. And believe it or not, she reaches me in the way others might not.
How is that you might ask?
Well first of all, Pat doesn’t hit me over the head with a hammer. (Figuratively speaking, of course.) While explaining the opposing viewpoint, she’s doing so while stroking my bruised ego…“… your personality has always come through loud and clear and I’d never want you to change.” Very smart maneuver. She also agrees that the person nailing me to the wall isn’t very smart in going that route. I totally agree, especially with me.
So while I’m still not inclined to totally let down my guard, I am definitely seeing the other side in a different light.
The old adage is true……you get more with honey…than you do with vinegar.
…with me you get everything…within reason, that is.