living her best life…#30

We all have moments of reflection. Although most of us never need to contemplate…living with cancer, day in and day out.

Reading Pat’s thoughts on how she deals with her “new normal,” is humbling. I’m less likely to think about what ails me.

Hi [hugmamma],

Haven’t emailed in a while, so I’m glad we got to talk last week.

I realized I’ve been putting off emailing about my last treatment.

For some reason I feel compelled to record something each time…be it good or bad. So I must do this before I forget how I felt last week.

Treatment went as well as the three previous ones.

Had a different nurse, Etta. She was young and pretty like Tara, and just as attentive. 

My appointment was earlier than usual. That seemed to make a big difference. It was crowded! Patients occupied every chair. 

I was struck by the fact that so many people are fighting cancer. It was more than a little disconcerting.

My chair was in a sunny corner of the room.

As in the past, I was in and out while those who were there before me were still being treated when I got up to leave.

I realized that being there for some time, meant some of the patients had to haul their IVs along with them when they visited the bathroom. Some brought snacks or meals. Whether or not they could keep from upchucking their food was another matter.

It seemed to me I was the youngest patient. Or maybe it just felt that way…

More than that I felt rather fortunate not to have suffered any serious side effects. I haven’t lost my hair, or my appetite. Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit more tired and achy, but really…I have NOTHING to complain about.

It’s weird, but I’ve been feeling a bit guilty. Especially when I think about folks I know who had a really difficult time while undergoing cancer treatment. I was warned as to how awful it would be, and what all they had to endure. Truthfully…I have yet to deal with any of that.

I know it’s still relatively early in my treatment process, but I thank God every day.  After all…every day…is another day. And that’s a good thing.

I’ll remember that, should I have a bad day.

Thinking about last week’s treatment leaves me teary-eyed, but it’s something I had to get off my chest…feeling guilty.

So thank you for being my sounding board. I’ve said it before.

It does help.

…love you always…pat.

…love you more…

………hugmamma.

 

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8 thoughts on “living her best life…#30

  1. It would be way better to share positive prayer and healing thoughts with those around me…just as you, my family and friends, are doing for me. I know it works for me so it should work for them. Thank you for that reminder…no more feelings of guilt or worse, self-pity….there’s no time for either!

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    • Atta girl, Pat. But you know…it’s only normal to have a few moments of self-pity. As long as we don’t…connect the dots…into an endless session of wallowing in guilt and remorse. Which you would never do. Mom and dad didn’t raise you all that way. You’re more the “let’s do something about it” type. And that’s why we get along so well. lots of hugs… 🙂

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  2. Yes, continue to thank God everyday. Sending prayer thoughts to each and everyone of them might lessen your guilt while you’re receiving your treatment. God bless.

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  3. No need to feel guilty. The lord deals with things in many ways and bodies react differently. Also think about it in the reverse, if you were having a bad reaction and someone else was having an easier time, would you be upset? I don’t think so. You might be a little envious but you’d be happy for the person. Also look at it in another vein, that this is the outcome of positive thinking and the channeling of supportive thoughts and prayers from so many family and friends……..

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hugs for sharing some brief thoughts...and keeping them positive

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