letting babies cry…

As referenced in my previous post, following is the Wall Street Journal article that prompted me to put fingers to keys on my laptop.

A smiling baby lying in a soft cot (furniture).

A smiling baby lying in a soft cot (furniture). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Letting Babies Cry a Bit Is OK
by Andrea Petersen

   Letting babies cry for short periods of time while teaching them to sleep by themselves doesn’t cause long-term psychological problems or damage the parent-child relationship, says a study being published Monday in the journal Pediatrics.

   The study, which followed children until they were 6 years old, will likely add fuel to an emotional debate that rages on playgrounds, on Facebook and within marriages: whether or not exhausted parents should “sleep train” their babies.

   The behavioral techniques used in the study didn’t include the most controversial method, known as extinction, or “cry it out,” in which parents put the baby to bed, close the door and don’t open it until morning, no matter how long and vociferously the baby sobs. While effective, cry it out “is very distressing to parents,” said Anna Price, the lead author of the study and a postdoctoral research fellow at the Centre for Community Child Health, the Royal Children’s Hospital in Parkville, Australia. “It is hard to do. We don’t recommend it.”

   Instead, the study used two somewhat gentler approaches. In “controlled comforting,” parents return to the room of a crying baby at regular intervals to offer some limited soothing. (Parents often refer to this as a version of cry it out.) It is the technique known colloquially as “Ferberizing,” after Richard Ferber, the doctor who popularized it.

   In “camping out,” parents start by sitting in a chair next to the baby’s bed and slowly–over several weeks–move the chair until they are out of the room and the baby is falling asleep alone.

   But some critics, including proponents of “attachment parenting”–which also advocates parents and baby sleeping in the same bed–assert that the Ferber method, too, weakens the bond between parent and child and can lead to behavioral and emotional problems later on.

   On the other side, some advocates of sleep training have also said teaching children to go to sleep on their own is critical to helping prevent later sleep problems. But this study found no significant long-term benefits of the behavioral techniques. About 9% of children in both the intervention and the control group had sleep problems at age 6.

   Earlier data from this study, and other research, have shown that the behavioral techniques do work and have clear short-term benefits: Babies go to sleep more quickly at bedtime and wake up less during the night. And infant sleep problems can lead to a whole host of family issues: They double the risk of depression symptoms in mothers and can fuel marital problems.

   “In the short-term, the infants and parents get more sleep,” said Judith A. Owens, the director of sleep medicine at Children’s National Medical Center in Washington, D.C. “A well-rested parent is going to be a better parent in the daytime.”

   The study followed 326 Australian children whose parents reported sleep problems when they were 7 months old. When the babies were between 8 and 10 months old, the parents of 173 children were taught the behavioral techniques during their regularly scheduled checkups. The rest weren’t offered the training.

   When the children were 6 years old, researchers administered various tests to assess emotional health, behavior, sleep issues and the quality of the parent-child relationship.

   Researchers found almost no difference on any of the measures between the children who had the sleep training as infants and those who didn’t.

…be sure to read my take on the debate…in my previous post…

………hugmamma.

whatever works…who am i to judge

I reiterated to my husband again last night…”Don’t touch that stack of Wall Street Journal papers!” Never mind that it’s taking up space in his home office.

There are gems to be found in that mountain of treasure. Take for instance the article reprinted in my next post, “Letting Babies Cry a Bit is OK” by Andrea Petersen.

Of tremendous interest to “mwaaa”…me, that is, the information contained in Petersen’s writing reminded me of my husband’s least favorite bedtime story.

Our family had recently returned from visiting relatives in Hawaii. Our daughter, then a toddler, had difficulty returning to her routine of sleeping alone in her crib. Bunking with mom and dad while away from home was probably to blame. We had no choice in the matter since space was scarce in my mother-in-law’s already overcrowded home.

I’d read in a book that was my parenting bible at the time, that I shouldn’t remove my child from her crib when she cried, begging to sleep in mine. Rather, I should return to her side in 20-minute intervals to comfort her until she fell asleep. This had worked before our vacation; I was certain it would continue to work again.

My husband was not as convinced. In fact, he was adamant it wouldn’t.

That was one of the very few times I angered my husband.

In utter disgust and disbelief, he stormed off saying he’d rather sleep downstairs if I didn’t give in to our daughter’s pitiful cries. And they were pitiful. Trust me. They were.

However monstrous I might’ve seemed to my loved ones at the time, I knew the long-term result would benefit our child. And it has.

My daughter has confidently traveled the country and Canada since she was 14, pursuing the dance career she now enjoys. She slept in dorms with strangers as roommates. Since she was 18 she has lived on her own, 3,000 miles separating her from us.

She still dreams of living abroad some day.

And as for our relationship?

Our love for one another has grown exponentially over the years!!!

I don’t suggest it’s my way…or the highway. Parents need to do what feels instinctively right in their guts.

…and my instincts suit my guts…just fine…

………hugmamma.