husbands…can’t live without them

A sure sign of my significant other’s undying support and love was reflected in something he did for me, which I’d not even asked him to do. When WordPress suspended my blog, my husband came to my defense by messaging the support staff a few complimentary words. In return, WordPress emailed an equally supportive message.

Hi

WordPress Logo

Image via Wikipedia

Thank you for your note. 

The site you mention was actually removed by mistake, and it has been restored to its original state. We have notified the site owner of this, as well. We are incredibly happy that you’re enjoying this blog (and we’re sure the owner is, as well) and hope that you do continue to do so.

We do apologize for this, and if you have any further concerns at all please just let us know.

Enjoy your weekend  🙂

Anthony

WordPress.com

As with my previous experiences with Comcast, this one with WordPress continues to support my feeling that you can “get more with honey, than with vinegar.” This situation felt a little closer to the skin, in that I felt personally attacked, being labeled a spammer. Nonetheless, launching a retaliatory attack of words would’ve cost me more.

Stress is as much a killer, as heart disease. As it turned out, with whom would I have been engaged in battle? An automated system that would have come out the victor, not having shed any blood in the process. I didn’t mince words, but the matter wasn’t going to be resolved without the help of WordPress’s support staff. So I enlisted their aid, and while resolution seemed tedious and painstakingly slow, respect on both sides was never jeopardized. In the end, we both got what we wanted. I was able to resume blogging, and WordPress retained a consumer of its product.

Firetruck shirts

Image by Jordan via Flickr

isn’t that what life should be about?…getting along with one another?..hugmamma.

siblings

Most of us are born into families with other children. Siblings are a complicated group. They needn’t be, but most often they are. Finding our niches within the hierarchical order is tricky business. There is usually a pecking order. And it normally runs oldest to youngest, with the latter having no one to peck on, so to speak.

Perceptions of life are affected by our own lives, so they’re necessarily skewed by what our brain interprets of the goings on around us. Obviously these interpretations are our truths, not necessarily lining up with those of others. This isn’t to say they’re not valid, for to us they are.

One of the truisms in life, I think, is that we should listen, really listen, to what someone is saying. We tend to hear what we want to hear. I wonder why that is? It’s almost as though we’re only using one ear. This is definitely the case in most marriages, mine included. But I guess when 2 strangers get together, there’s a lot to sort out, and for marriages to survive there needs to be give-and-take, a lot of it.

Give-and-take among siblings is another matter. When they live under the same roof it’s probably essential, to minimize the bloodshed. But when they’ve left the roost to find their own way in the world, coming together again can be, as I said, tricky.

I’m 61 and the youngest of 9. It’s not easy to throw off the mantel of “kid sister.” I don’t often see my siblings, so the issue rarely comes up. Nonetheless, it’s not an easy position to occupy, especially when I’ve successfully led my life outside the hierarchy. I’ve never been able to say to any of my siblings “I think you should do this.” Not that I would want to do so. I think they’re all just fine as they are. Just as I couldn’t tell a stranger how to live her life, I couldn’t do so with family. I could only offer advice and support, if asked.

I have great admiration for my husband and his siblings, always have. I’ve known them for nearly 41 years, having interacted with them  much more when he and I were dating. The last 30 years or so we’ve lived on the mainland, away from the rest of them. There was obviously a hierarchy among the 12 siblings, but it wasn’t overtly apparent to me. The camaraderie among them was palpable, still is. The banter back and forth among sisters and brothers is light, fun, loving. There’s no heavy talk about setting and achieving goals, working at better jobs, pressure to attend college. Not that these aren’t important. But I think my husband and his siblings set examples for one another. They led the way, they didn’t point in the direction and say “Go do it.” They just did it.

The pattern of showing by example has filtered down to all our nieces and nephews. Many have graduated from colleges on the mainland, and some have traveled outside the country, even as far away as Australia, one nephew living in Mongolia as a Mormon missionary for a couple of years. There is excitement within the family whenever we gather, catching up with one another, getting better acquainted with newborns, or children who’ve grown up in our absence. No matter the lives they lead, there is equality among my husband and his siblings, and their children and their cousins. And it’s for certain, they’ve all “got each other’s backs,” that’s OHANA, Hawaiian for family.

My mother-and-father-inlaw, and their marriage of 40 + years before he died, are to be credited for their successful, love-by-example raising of 12 children. A legacy they have surely left to all who come after. I’m very fortunate to have found love and comfort under the shelter of my in-laws welcoming “umbrella” these many years.

for everyone coming in out of the “rain”…hugs…hugmamma.