As regular readers of hugmamma’s mind, body, and soul can attest, I’ve never been stricken with “writer’s block.” It’s not something I’d brag about though. I’m probably a prolific writer because I’m also a non-stop talker, when given the opportunity. Some might think I’m doubly gifted because I never experience “talker’s block” or “writer’s block.” The truth is…these so-called talents can be a royal pain in my behind, my touche, my backside, my rump, my hynie, my booty, my (Hawaiian) okole, my arse…and yes, my ass!
Let me list some reasons why I sometimes wish I had “talker’s block.”
1. If allowed I babble endlessly, switching topics effortlessly, leaving listeners wondering what we were talking about in the first place.
2. As I’m speaking I begin to detach myself, listening to what it is I’m saying. Sometimes I cringe hearing the moronic stuff spilling forth from my mouth. Yikes! Is that me talking???
3. I hate pregnant pauses. You know, when no one speaks. And it feels like the minutes are ticking by as if loaded down with sandbags. Because of this, I’ve taken to being the Wonder Woman of the talk show circuit. I break out with all the blah, blah, blah I can muster and keep the dribble going, only stopping if someone else feels the urge to break in. Otherwise…it’s me, me, me…and more me. Yuck!
4. Believe it or not, when I’m speaking and all eyes are upon me, I feel as though I’m physically shrinking so as to avoid being the center of attention. I can feel myself on the verge of menopausal hot flashes, sweat beginning to bead under my armpits, hairs standing on end at the nape of my neck. I’d prefer substituting a speaker box in my place so that I could be “heard, and not seen,” unlike childhood days when I was told to be “seen and not heard.”
5. Finally…yes, there is an end to this in case you were wondering…when I plunge headlong into a conversation, I’m inclined to spit out the words as fast as I can. My fear? That if I dally too long, eyes will begin to roll, butts will start to squirm, and then the final trump card… “I think it’s time I got going. I’ve got lots to do.”
“Writer’s Block?” Why would I wish it? Read on…
1. I’ve an addiction to writing, or haven’t you noticed? I’ve even written about it in https://hugmamma.wordpress.com/2011/07/16/task-reward-task-reward/ and https://hugmamma.wordpress.com/2011/07/15/addicted-me-nahhh/. And we all know that addictions are taboo. I’ve not seen research studies denigrating writers’ needing to pen their thoughts 24/7…yet. But give the naysayers time. They’ll get around to us sooner or later. We needn’t fear being overlooked. Trust me! They’ll get around to ripping the pens from our fingers, and the keyboards out from under our frenetic grasps. Hey! I might start the ball rolling and have public pressure move me to have “writer’s block.” Hmmm…a thought…
2. Insomnia’s another reason I’d cozy up to “writer’s block.” At my age sleepless nights are usually guaranteed. So it’s a double whammy to be kept awake at night, ideas bouncing around inside my head, wanting out…now, now, now!!! I’ve posted of this in https://hugmamma.wordpress.com/2011/08/01/daily-post-challenge-204-does-your-mind-go-blank-when-you-close-your-eyes/, and in https://hugmamma.wordpress.com/2011/01/13/cure-for-insomnia-blogging/.
3. Apart from loving to write, I love being a homeowner, a gardener, a pet owner, a friend, a wife, and, of course, a mom. But somehow all the rest take a backseat to writing. The fluidity and speed with which I can knock off post after post far surpasses my ability to dust, scrub and vacuum…weed, water and rake…pop pills and rotate feeding dishes for 3 special needs cats…socialize…pamper…and smother with love.
4. Life is about balance. Tell that to “hugmamma.” She needs a megaphone secured to her ear through which Beyonce’s never-ending voice screams “Balance! Balance! Balance!”
5. I’d like to take up another hobby. Not sure what it is yet; haven’t had the time to peruse the possibilities. Maybe I’ll figure it out in an upcoming post. At least writing things down puts them front and center, for my consideration. Now if I could only move my bones in a new direction afterwards.
…so don’t talk to me about “talker’s block”…or “writer’s block,”…be thankful you can “pull the plug”…