Came across a post, givers or takers, at http://dailymusing57.wordpress.com/2014/09/23/giver-or-taker/, which really resonated with me.
What makes some folks givers and others takers? Or are we a mixture of both, but with a greater tendency toward one?
Perhaps we learned the give and take of interacting with others as children…maybe with siblings…or with parents and playmates as an only child.
Do those needing approval to bolster their self esteem give themselves over completely to serving others?
Do those having self-confidence take advantage of those without, whether knowingly or unknowingly?
What are the inherent dangers of falling into one category or the other?
And is it ever too late to pull ourselves back from being lopsidedly one or the other…
…a giver…or a taker?
I’ve had difficulty taking without feeling I always had to give back right away. Still do. Once a boss, who became a good friend, asked why it was I couldn’t accept his invitation to lunch without feeling I had to reciprocate the next time we dined out? I had no answer. Still don’t.
Although I have no difficulty giving to others, truthfully, I don’t think I’ve ever felt worthy of taking without giving back. Is it because of my Catholic upbringing? Or because my mom told me mine had been an unwanted pregnancy.
I don’t dwell on why it is I’m a giver. It’s who I am. And while I still don’t take material things without feeling the need to return in kind, I’m always open to receiving the gift of love…from anyone. Although I must admit, I return the love immediately…in hugs and words.
Yesterday I met with Carlos for the first time. He had stopped by to give me an estimate on the hedges and trees my husband and I wanted pruned. From the minute we shook hands, our conversation was relaxed and easy. We spoke as though we’d known each other for more than a few minutes. By the time Carlos left for another appointment, we were muy simpatico…very sympathetic. We agreed that connecting with people is what enriches our lives. Material things are necessary, but the pleasure they bring is only temporary. Exchanging hugs, I shed a few hormonal tears and blessed Carlos for being a good man.
When we least expect it, we meet others who feel as we do.
I have learned to delight in taking from others, although such generosity still surprises me. It’s like when my husband proposed. I cried, exclaiming “Me? You want to marry me?” To which he replied “Who else? We’ve been dating for 3 years. Of course it’s you!”
Another lesson learned, albeit late, is to remove myself from the company of those who impact me negatively. Folks who don’t appreciate the full measure of what it is I am giving…
…my heart…for the taking.